Right now I have to say I feel incredibly blessed to be living the life of my dreams. Whether working with Direct Sales leaders and their teams, speaking at corporate events in Australia and overseas or working one on one with my personal clients I know in my heart I am doing what I was born to do. I’m helping people develop a deep unshakeable belief in themselves so they can follow their hearts desire and go after what they truly want in life. The feeling this gives me every day is more than I could ever have imagined possible. Some days I actually have to pinch myself just to make sure this really is my reality because life hasn’t always been the way it is right now.
As a business woman, wife of 22 years and mother to two beautiful girls one of whom has cerebral palsy and autism I understand what it feels like when life throws you an unexpected curve ball and your life as you knew it is suddenly pulled out from under neath you.
These are the times in life where you sink or swim. I’ve done a little of both. Over the years I’ve used food, cigarettes, alcohol and work as distractions when the challenges of life became too much but the greatest damage was done through my addiction to gambling. Inside a casino I had it all. Food, cigarettes booze it was my ultimate escape from life.
As my home life became more challenging my desire to succeed in business became relentless and I soared to the top in my Direct Sales business. With personal retail sales in excess of $100,000 a year and a million dollar team, people saw me as a strong successful woman. Yet behind closed doors I was in emotional crisis as my addictions spiraled out of control and I contemplated suicide.
I remember my darkest day, sitting at home on the back patio. I was 22 kilos overweight, smoked 20/40 cigarettes, drank a bottle or two of wine a day and has amassed debt of over $250,000.
Sitting there that day with a glass of wine and a cigarette in one hand and a packet of sleeping pills in the other, I felt as though I was suffocating and struggled to breathe. My life of deceit had finally caught up with me and suicide seemed like the only way out. I remember thinking everyone would be better off without me, surely no one would love me when they realised what I’d done.
Then as fate would have it, my eldest daughter arrived home from school and somehow sensed my pain. I’ll never forget her looking into my eyes and saying “You’ll never leave me mum, will you?” I remember staring back at her with flashes of her childhood running through my head. I began to remember all the things she struggled to do yet managed to accomplish because of her determination and never give up attitude. She gave me the courage to face my demons and find a way to turn my life around.
I placed my last bet on 13th December 2003, stopped smoking and drinking and lost 22 kilos.
On my road to recovery I realised that there were lots of people out there living on emotional overdraft and struggling to get through the day just as I was. I promised myself that if I could rebuild my own life I would share what I’d learned to make a positive impact in the lives of others.
Whilst I still have much to learn I am committed to nurturing the relationship I have with myself through daily rituals that build my confidence, raise my self esteem and deepen my self belief. Despite my many mistakes of the past, when I look in the mirror today, I am very proud of the woman smiling back at me and the difference I am making in the lives of others.